(Or, Voice + Stakes = Paramount)
A
charity water fact: 50%
of the schools in the world don’t have access to clean water or adequate
sanitation.
Fantasy romance author Jane
Kindred thinks that all schools should have access to water. That’s why she’s
donated a query critique to the 2012 Charity Water campaign.
Meet
Jane, member of team Megibow, and bid on her query critique here.
~~~
Jane Kindred
began writing fantasy at age 12 in the wayback of a Plymouth Fury—which, as far
as she recalls, never killed anyone…who didn’t have it coming. She spent her
formative years ruining her eyes reading romance novels in the Tucson sun and
watching Star Trek marathons in the dark. Although she was repeatedly
urged to learn a marketable skill, she received a B.A. in Creative Writing
anyway from the University of Arizona.
She now writes
to the sound of San Francisco foghorns while two cats slowly but surely edge
her off the side of the bed.
~~~
NAE: What valuable lesson have you learned from one
of your critiquers/beta-readers (feel free to share who it was)?
Jane:
I took an online workshop with Writer’s Digest editor Jane Friedman where she
critiqued first pages, and she got right to the heart of what was wrong with
mine: I was trying to set a stage; she wanted to be intrigued. It wasn’t
necessary for the reader to know exactly who my character was, or where she
was, but they definitely needed to care what happened to her before the end of
the first page, if not the first paragraph. The voice and the stakes were
paramount.
NAE: What’s one of the worst
mistakes a critiquer can make?
Jane:
I’m not sure I know what the worst mistakes in critiquing are, but I know one
of the worst mistakes a writer can make is to try to rewrite to please every
reader. You have to evaluate which critiques are valid for you--without your
ego getting in the way, which can be hard. It’s a fine line between thinking
every word of a critique is right and thinking every word is wrong. LOL.
NAE: When you critique someone’s
work, what is your general process?
Jane:
I line edit as I go, otherwise I’d forget the things that initially stick out
as I get lost in the story. It’s also an OCD thing; I like marking things, and
can’t resist line editing, even if that’s not the version I’m ultimately going
to give to the writer.
NAE: Is there one specific thing
that you gravitate toward while critiquing?
Jane:
I definitely gravitate toward grammar. If the grammar is distracting, I can’t
even pay attention to the characters or plot.
Crits
for Water Quickfires—And, go:
1. Oxford comma? YES.
2. Should "I like him too"
have a comma before "too"? It
depends on the context. Are there two people being liked? Or two people liking?
Or is the person doing something in addition to liking? Never mind; just change
it to “I also like him” and you don’t have to worry about the comma. ;)
3. Italicize or underline? I know
there are some agents and editors who still prefer underlining for emphasis so
they can see it clearly (and I think there also used to be printer typesetting
reasons to do it this way in a manuscript), so if that’s what they want, give
it to them. But the correct type style for emphasis is italic, and that’s what
it will end up being in print.
4. How do you separate scenes: #,
***, line break?
However your editor tells you to separate them. ;) It seems to be
largely dependent on house style, but what I’ve seen most (and therefore, how I
do it in my drafts) is to use a line break for a minor scene break and three
asterisks for a major scene break.
5. What's your favorite verb? I
don’t think I can say that here, but it’s possibly of Scandinavian origin, and
according to the Online Etymology Dictionary, “the earliest examples of the
word…are from Scottish”…and if
it’s not Scottish, it’s crap. ;)
~~~
Thanks, Jane, for stopping by! Take a peek
at Jane’s novels, such as THE FALLEN QUEEN.
Heaven can go to hell.
Until her cousin slaughtered the supernal
family, Anazakia’s father ruled the Heavens, governing noble Host and Fallen
peasants alike. Now Anazakia is the last grand duchess of the House of
Arkhangel’sk, and all she wants is to stay alive.
Hunted by Seraph assassins, Anazakia flees
Heaven with two Fallen thieves—fire demon Vasily and air demon Belphagor, each
with their own nefarious agenda—who hide her in the world of Man. The line
between vice and virtue soon blurs, and when Belphagor is imprisoned, the unexpected
passion of Vasily warms her through the Russian winter.
Heaven seems a distant dream, but when
Anazakia learns the truth behind the celestial coup, she will have to return to
fight for the throne—even if it means saving the man who murdered everyone she
loved.
~~~
If you’re curious about the voice and
stakes in your query and you think Jane could help, go to the Crits for Water
campaign page for her query critique up for auction.